Almost forgot this evening that I had a dinner date with a friend. Unfortunately when I wasn't getting responses to my texts about where we should finally meet up, I pretty much knew that she was going to bail on me. It's kind of been the pattern with her.

She's introverted. I get it, so am I. So there are times I'd rather bail on a get together with someone than go to it, because it's like I work it up so much in my head that the idea of a simple friend date gets to be overwhelming. But because my desire to see that person and also not disappoint them win out, I show up. Unfortunately with her, she doesn't.

So while she finally replied to me, and we tried to call one another through a bad connection, I was getting the strong impression that she wanted to reschedule. So I told her "not to worry about it" and headed home, to only have her ask me where I was headed and did I want to go to Mellow Mushroom.

Bump that.

I'm not up for being your last option or a possibility. Especially when you've asked me to be someone who supports and keeps you accountable but it's been 3 weeks and you've not made the first attempt to try and get together. While on the other hand I have been met with your lack of commitment and respect towards me.

This post is taking a different turn that it normally does. But life is messy and real right? I do not appreciate feeling used in times of hardships with her, and abandoned with it's good in her life. She's been the friend who has needed me, and it makes it really hard to try and cultivate a friendship because it's been a lot of giving and no receiving.

So it may end up being one of those life lessons where I am going to have to learn to let go of someone in my life. But we did reschedule for this coming Wednesday, so we'll see how that goes. It may be the sure tell sigh I need to make a decision on is this worth working at.