#174 Anxiety Breaks
6:31 AM
So after mentioning to Stephen I needed the rest of the evening off to be at home after Zumba, he came home and stayed with me too. Which wasn't my intent.
The more I thought about the whole thing, the more weird I felt about having made a big deal about it. I mean I read back through how I felt and it all still rings true, but somehow seeing a little bit of it through Stephen's eyes, it just didn't make sense.
He is super sweet and keeps trying to figure out what this "balance" is for me. It's one of those day by day things though, and I'm not sure there will ever be a formula to it all.
We've had 2 to 3 weeks here lately it has not been an issue. At times we've been busy all weekend, but then we've had multiple days off too. It's worked itself out without me having to try really. And while this past weekend Stephen and I had a lot of time for one another, having places I had to be to drained my energy and left me a bit exhausted at the end of today.
Yes appointments can sometimes drain me too. I'm telling you, it's a day to day struggle. I don't really get it myself.
So at the end of it I'm left thinking on a verse...
Because of the anxiety and also my introverted nature, worry comes with the territory. But my God is bigger than all of this. I've got to trust him that He will give me the rest I need. Sometimes that may mean being bold and asking for it, but it also means that when I feel like I'm struggling I don't always have to take it in my own hands. Let God give me peace. Let God give me the time I need. Let God replenish my energy when I need it.
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The more I thought about the whole thing, the more weird I felt about having made a big deal about it. I mean I read back through how I felt and it all still rings true, but somehow seeing a little bit of it through Stephen's eyes, it just didn't make sense.
He is super sweet and keeps trying to figure out what this "balance" is for me. It's one of those day by day things though, and I'm not sure there will ever be a formula to it all.
We've had 2 to 3 weeks here lately it has not been an issue. At times we've been busy all weekend, but then we've had multiple days off too. It's worked itself out without me having to try really. And while this past weekend Stephen and I had a lot of time for one another, having places I had to be to drained my energy and left me a bit exhausted at the end of today.
Yes appointments can sometimes drain me too. I'm telling you, it's a day to day struggle. I don't really get it myself.
So at the end of it I'm left thinking on a verse...
Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:6-7
Because of the anxiety and also my introverted nature, worry comes with the territory. But my God is bigger than all of this. I've got to trust him that He will give me the rest I need. Sometimes that may mean being bold and asking for it, but it also means that when I feel like I'm struggling I don't always have to take it in my own hands. Let God give me peace. Let God give me the time I need. Let God replenish my energy when I need it.
Grab A Guest Post|Let's Have Friends Share Our Space for the Day
Again, I'm not so good at planning ahead for the Blogtember Challenge. So I'm stealing a post I saw yesterday, without their permission. But I'm sharing it right, and giving credit, so not faults right?_________________________________________________________________
My house will never be clean
I’ve recently come to realize how much pride I have in making sure that our home is always “just right”. The pillows have to be exactly right, the remote can’t be crooked on the coffee table, the dish cloth has to be perfectly folded on the oven, the mail is in a neat stack…etc. Maybe it’s a little OCD, but I know I get it honest. (Looking at you, Mama!) Mama always wanted our house to be just right and in order, but especially before company came over. Now, here I am as a wife doing the exact same thing.
On Saturday morning, as I was sweeping our floors – preparing for company to come over, the Lord began speaking to me. The more I tried to make sure every single piece of dirt or hair from my dog (!!!!) was off of the floor, the more I became so frustrated that our house would never be perfectly clean. The Lord spoke. “You’re right, and neither will your heart.”
Okay, ouch.
As I continued sweeping, the Lord still was gently stirring and correcting me.
How often do we try to clean ourselves up, making sure every small detail is swept underneath the mat, every blemish is hidden, and every part of our hearts are in order before we invite God in?
Let me get myself together before I present myself to you, Father. Although you know my heart and you know I’m not capable of doing so, I’m going to try really hard. Yes – I know you want me to come just as I am, in the midst of my sin, but can I just try to clean it up real quick? Just wait, I’m almost ready.
Yep. That’s me.
Typing that out seems so silly, but I have to believe that we all do this whether we recognize it or not. Never once did the Lord ask us to clean up before he’d approach us. That’s not our job. Praise God that He approached us in the very depths of our brokenness and pursued us.
“Let us then come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace in help in time of need.” Hebrews 4:12
Here’s how we twist it up sometimes:
Once I’ve gotten rid of my sin, then I’ll come boldly, Jesus. That will make you proud, right?!Wrong.
Just like I can’t perfectly clean up my entire house before company comes over, I will never be able to cleanse my own sin before drawing near to the throne of grace.
The gospel I received was not a gospel I earned on my own merit. In fact, I didn’t earn it at all. That’s the beauty of it. I did nothing.
“Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” 2 Corinthians 12:9
It’s not news to Jesus that we can’t fix ourselves (and will never be able to). He is not shocked by our sin. He doesn’t condone it – and doesn’t ask us to sit in it– but to bring it to his feet, where he will lavish us with his grace and wash us clean.
So – let’s give up being in control. Let’s stop fighting to only find ourselves being exhausted and frustrated in the pursuit. Let’s rest in truth and fall at the feet of Jesus, just as we are. There is freedom, friends.
I hope you have a great week!
And just for giggles –
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