So after mentioning to Stephen I needed the rest of the evening off to be at home after Zumba, he came home and stayed with me too. Which wasn't my intent.

The more I thought about the whole thing, the more weird I felt about having made a big deal about it. I mean I read back through how I felt and it all still rings true, but somehow seeing a little bit of it through Stephen's eyes, it just didn't make sense.

He is super sweet and keeps trying to figure out what this "balance" is for me. It's one of those day by day things though, and I'm not sure there will ever be a formula to it all.

We've had 2 to 3 weeks here lately it has not been an issue. At times we've been busy all weekend, but then we've had multiple days off too. It's worked itself out without me having to try really. And while this past weekend Stephen and I had a lot of time for one another, having places I had to be to drained my energy and left me a bit exhausted at the end of today.

Yes appointments can sometimes drain me too. I'm telling you, it's a day to day struggle. I don't really get it myself.

So at the end of it I'm left thinking on a verse...


Because of the anxiety and also my introverted nature, worry comes with the territory. But my God is bigger than all of this. I've got to trust him that He will give me the rest I need. Sometimes that may mean being bold and asking for it, but it also means that when I feel like I'm struggling I don't always have to take it in my own hands. Let God give me peace. Let God give me the time I need. Let God replenish my energy when I need it.

Grab A Guest Post|Let's Have Friends Share Our Space for the Day

Again, I'm not so good at planning ahead for the Blogtember Challenge. So I'm stealing a post I saw yesterday, without their permission. But I'm sharing it right, and giving credit, so not faults right?
_________________________________________________________________

My house will never be clean

September 26, 2016emilyhayescollins

This is kind of a jumble of thoughts...

Some days its from sun up to sun down. I don't know what it is lately, but the fact that there is a "busy-ness" in church is quite bothersome to me. I'm afraid it's more of a mental change that needs to occur, or more importantly a heart change.

Days like today aren't too tough, but looking ahead in the next few days I'm overwhelmed. Remember me saying that I really need time alone and time to recharge? I hate having to plan for this time. It makes me feel weak. It makes me feel lazy. It makes me feel selfish.

Thursday night at church, I was looking forward to going, for the first time in a while. A lot of the "burdens" of that night have been alleviated for a while now, and I'm slowly coming to terms with our small groups: having to lead, having to ask people to pray, and having to "organize" how we do it.

I mean I used to stress over leading 3-5 year olds in Mission Friends on Sunday nights, so leading college age people--way worse. I'm not a large group leader. I'm just not. Helping to facilitate, now that's my thing.

So while I know that there are times that God pushes me outside of my comfort zone and/or the fact things may be a lot to handle at times... Its this overwhelming anxiety cloud that looms instead of just feeling like its a difficult time or busy time. So I turn back to wondering if it's really something God would have me do (like am I ignoring his beckoning) or am I not where God would have me?

I'm not doing such a great job of explaining it....

Anyways, one thing I did know about today was that I was getting this feeling from the Lord that I needed to mention my desire to have our group involved in Human Trafficking and helping to abolish it. While I dreaded it, while my voice trembled, I was able to share my heart. It's tough feeling like people may not see what you see in something, and having them reject it. But because the Lord is good, everything went well. I was obedient. I got the green light I needed to proceed. So here's to the next step!

But back to the overwhelming feeling. So today was busy. It was a great busy. I really wasn't desiring to have to leave our leadership meeting. We did leave a little earlier than we would have normally, but it still meant we didn't get home till about 8 pm (when we left at 8 am). It was a good day.

Although that coupled with the next couple of days, I'm getting that overwhelming feeling.

So I'm thankful for a husband that while he may not really understand, he tries to understand. Tomorrow I'm headed for Zumba, but instead of ending that night with an evening at Steve's, I'll go home. I'll rest. Then Tuesday, Stephen will be MIA with guys Bible study and I out with my mom, so that I can rest on Wednesday.

It's a balance. It's a weird delicate balance. It's something I still haven't quite learned yet.

It's something I need prayer for, because I feel like this is all me instead of God. I'm afraid I am being weak, or selfish, or lazy. I either don't want to be, or I want to stop feeling that way.

Review Something|Anything At All

Speaking of lazy, does this count as reviews? Trip Advisor reviews!!

Today Stephen and I picked out and ordered our flooring for the downstairs area of the house. To say I'm excited is an understatement, and to say it's needed is even more of an understatement.

We love our dogs. Obviously because it will now cost us thousands to refinish the floors they've destroyed, but at the same time I really wanted the "hardwood" look, and now I'll get that! Eek!

It's a very grey warm wood look. Not too red, and not too dark.

We headed to the Flea Market for a bit to HotWheels hunt. I ended up having to drag Stephen away so he could take me to my hair appointment--the first one in almost 2 years. I know, I know.

Finally can take my hair out of braids--I GOT A HAIRCUT. 💇 #onlybeenayearandahalf #itshardtotell #ipromiseitwaslikeseveninchesofhair

A photo posted by Brittany Prahl (@diednsaved) on Sep 24, 2016 at 9:19pm PDT

This isn't really the best photo of what my hair actually looks like (as my boobs decided to eat my hair apparently).

I feel human again though! Seriously. It's like every outfit looks better, and I feel like I can actually dress nicely because it all makes sense now. How does hair make such a big impact on how women feel?

Recreate a Project or Outfit  from Another Blogger

It's not a good idea that I look at these Blogtember Challenges the day of.

So maybe I can find something I've already recreated. That's cheating right?

Well it wasn't quite on a blog, but can this count for now?!

A photo posted by Brittany Prahl (@diednsaved) on Apr 3, 2015 at 7:53am PDT

The sign above the bed is very similar to this sign from Aimee Weaver Designs.

My morning was laying in bed, and stumbling around the house, since I'd woken up with a crusty nose and sore throat. The cold is not gone.

And while most dates don't go quite like this, Stephen and I headed out this evening for a night of shopping. Because we are both in dire need of some clothes and shoes. While we didn't come away with everything we might need, we did get a ton of stuff for $50 at Kohls, everything on Clearance, with another $10 Kohls Cash to spend later.

I'm so happy I enjoy seemingly mundane moments with a man who makes me laugh and enjoy chores like having to go shopping.

A Family Recipe

Gma Hilton's French Toast
This is the sweet version of French Toast. The kind where you don't need syrup.

4-6 slices of bread
2 eggs
1/2 cup of milk
1/2 cup of sugar
Cinnamon
Butter

In a large bowl whisk two eggs, 1/2 cup of milk, and 1/2 cup of sugar. Dip bread in mixture, and make sure both sides are covered in the mixture. Butter a hot pan/skillet, and after placing covered bread on pan/skillet, sprinkle both sides of bread with cinnamon. Cook until bread is browned or "done". ENJOY!

I can't eat French Toast any other way... PS. I'm not certain those measurements are exact, but that's okay!

Today I woke up later than normal to head out to Shandon Baptist Church to help assist with the SC Baptist Impact meeting. This is an event that happens every two years that is really to help challenge our churches to take the Gospel out. It's always an interesting event.

As I started heading out of our neighborhood, I realized I'd been thinking of the wrong church the entire time. My mind was fixated on the last time we had Impact, and it was at Riverland Hills. That's in Irmo, which is just across the dam from me. Makes it super easy to get to, because I face next to no traffic. When I realized it was actually Shandon Baptist, that's on the other side of Columbia. WAY farther than Irmo, and much more busy.

I barely made it there, only being 5 minutes late.

The rest of the day was handing out giveaways and signing people in for registration. To say there were a few things that got overlooked in planning this event, is an understatement. Although we managed, and it seemed the day really was a huge success.

A photo posted by SC Baptist Convention (@scbaptist) on Sep 22, 2016 at 8:19am PDT

Since I was already on the right side of town, I headed down Forest Drive about a mile, and hit up Trader Joes. Which when you go to Trader Joes, you can't help but come away with flowers.

Sorry, sideways.

Little decor for downstairs

Little prettiness for upstairs in the bedroom.

After work, Stephen and I headed on to Zen's house. We've never been, and it's one of those things everyone else seems to have done--except us. So we arrived to see Zen standing in the front yard with his phone positioned below his face illuminating only his face as if it were an early Halloween floating head out in the front yard.

Gave me a little bit of a fright.

He toured us around the house, and we sat down for a few minutes before we headed out to my parents house, as they are out of town and my mom is trying to surprise my dad with us hanging up the Jonas painting they purchased a year or so ago.

No luck in finding the painting, so we headed home to enjoy a few hours of rest before going to bed.

If You Were a Flavor of Ice Cream, What Flavor Would You Be?

Stellar Coffee from Moo Moo Creamery in Hilton Head. Because I'm pretty sure I have coffee flowing through my veins, and this is about the closest thing to dumping a pot of coffee in your mouth as you can get. Plus I'm pretty sure everyone loves this flavor once they've tried it--and well I can only hope people like me just as much. Although I can't say they always do--but we know there are some coffee haters out there, and they are ALL WRONG!

Today marks our annual missionary day out at camp. It's one of those things my introvert self dreads, but another part of me really longs for this day.

Introvert side of me says how scary the day will be, because I have to try to interact with all these people to be sociable for the sake of being sociable. It tells me that every question I ask will be awkward or one they've had to answer multiple times. I'll have them tell the same old boring story they've told a million times, and I'll make them feel super awkward, because missionaries are celebrities right?

The other part of me longs to hear their stories. Longs to see them as normal people. Longs to hear what God is doing. I wonder what life is like after serving overseas and now being back in the United States retired. Is it weird? Do they miss the place they served? Does this even feel like home anymore?

And then somehow I get frozen, and revert to the introverted side of me. Although today was a bit different. I tried to put myself in spots where I could talk. Where I could meet and talk to these missionaries who gave up so much of their life for the sake of the Gospel. I got to experience that today. I got to hear some stories. I got to see them as normal people. I got to see that God is still good to them, even after they've retired and are back in a "foreign land". That He can make any place home.

One of our retired missionaries stood up and wanted to lead everyone in a chorus of "Oh How I Love Jesus". As soon as we hit the chorus, I realized what a special moment this was. I recorded some of it, but had to delete it because I forgot I captured one of our secure missionaries. But the room filled with the voices of 40 people who have served God faithfully through the years. Who have let Him take them across seas and lands. People who realized that the love Christ displayed, was why they so deeply loved Him.

Also today's weather was perfect. I mean it gave me hope that fall might actually come this year! The 100 degree days have been killer, and have burned away every memory and sensation of fall. What is fall?

On my way from Nancy's house, I pulled up next to another Wagoneer driver. I had a juvenile freak out moment and waved like a crazy person at him--a 65 year old man. I don't know if he saw me do that, I kind of hope not, but as soon as we got side by side, he turned to me and gave me a slight approving nod. That's the Wagoneer club for ya.

I came home this evening to Stephen already at home, with a gift waiting in a pizza box for me. Silly boy. He had roamed the aisles of Target thinking what he could possibly get me as a simple "thinking of you" gift--and inside the pizza box was the Twenty One Pilots CD. Something I've been listening to on repeat via YouTube for a while now.

Sweet sweet man.

Something You Wish More People Knew or Believed

I have an obvious answer to this, but I'm going to try to go less obvious and maybe more simple.

Because this is very relevant in a friend's life right now, I would have to say, I wish people knew that the person God intends for them to marry is most DEFINITELY worth the wait. 100%. No regrets. You'll have wondered why you let any other person come in your life, when you meet the person that not only meets all the things you wanted in a spouse, but exceeds them. EXCEEDS! But instead so many people, including myself (many times), settle for much less than they are worth thinking they will never find better. It's not true. Let God move in this area of your life, not you.

It's also not really hard work to be married. Not in the typical sense. It can be hard. It can be frustrating. But that person, that one you have waited for, is so worth it. At the end of hard times, it won't feel hard. It'll feel like what you need to do to maintain and nourish one of the greatest blessings God could give you. 

Today was the first whole day in my new office, and I got to decorate! This is not really one of those things I did in my last cubicle, and so I actually went out last week and bought items to make this space into something I enjoy.

Left Side

Right Side.. or whole office

Family pics :)

A List of Your Favorite Blog Posts, You've Written

After a day of church going activities, Stephen and I headed up to Greenville. Stephen to meet up with his dad, and I to meet up with his mom and sisters for the Sandi Patty Farewell Tour.

I am pretty amazed that God not only gave me a great hubby, but a whole wonderful family too! #lovethem #sandipattyfarewelltour

A photo posted by Brittany Prahl (@diednsaved) on Sep 20, 2016 at 7:38pm PDT

One Product That Simplifies Your Life

I wouldn't normally just suggest this, but I'm a super lazy skin care person. Normally hasn't played a part in my life of needs, as my skin has always been relatively clear. But I'm guessing age and probably bad diet, has turned into dry skin and pimples on my chin all the time.

So because of that, The Cure has proven to be an awesome product that helps me tackle all the crazy dry skin I have, without having to scrub my face for hours.

And while you may see some reviews that say otherwise, I'm telling you this stuff works. I can see that my dry skin has come off. It takes no effort. And at the end of it all I'm left with fresh moisturized looking skin. Although you still need to moisturize after it!

Today was definitely Stephanie's Day! From almost sun up to sun down, this day rang in Stephanie's 21st birthday with all sorts of festivities.

We spent the early afternoon at Lydia's house for a girl's spa day. We kicked backed and relaxed, watching The Croods as we did our nails, toes, and faces.

Sarah even got to give herself a facial!

We headed out to Groucho's for dinner, and then back to Lydia's for a game night. And while not everyone loves Quelf, we still had a blast playing it. It's become our game, although we did manage to squeeze in an Apples to Apples game.

Ooops- No VLOG Here! 

This morning was a slow start, and I even was sleeping in late. But the queen of being late is never deterred from letting a few extra hours in her day help her out.

After breakfast, I headed out to meet up with Heather at her job.I couldn't help but be impressed with their new beautiful building--old factory converted hospital building.

We hopped in the car again, to drive another hour to meet up with Jenn in downtown Asheville, and of course sweet Micah.

Siting in the biggest chair of all time. Yeah a chair.

Either my crazy eye was disturbing Micah, or I REALLY AM his favorite fake auntie!

We had fun walking around downtown, getting some grub at Farm Burger, and drinking the most awful tea of all time. Most is not an understatement in that sentence. Plus we got to people watch like crazy, as Asheville has to be one of the most interesting places below the Mason Dixon line. It is the entire liberal North relocated into the South as a city.

Unfortunately we had to end the day all too soon. I miss these people too much when I am not with them.

And next time I'll load up on caffeine so I won't be in a weird caffeine lull all day too. Headaches suck.

How Do You Destress/Take Care of Yourself?

This might have to be one that I fess up to that I'm not really the greatest at. Honestly who has this figured out? I think I thought being an adult meant knowing how to navigate life, but in reality I think it's flashing past us as we just try and keep up. I mean who has time to work, have a social life, invest in others, spend time at church, spend time alone with the Lord, go on dates with your husband, visit with family, go shopping for food, go shopping for clothes, go get a haircut, go buy clothes so you have some without holes, get home estimates for flooring, get the dogs to the vet, get the dogs to the groomers, finish decorating your home, thinking about the future, creating posts for college and career and more. So much more.

I think though, that because I'm an introvert, the biggest thing I've come to realize is necessary for me to function is alone time. Not that I need to be alone, being by my husband feels kind of the same, or spending the day with college buddies feels the same as being alone--they don't drain my energy. So I just need to get away from the scheduled plans, the things that feel like I'm being pulled in every direction. Take a moment to myself. Watch a movie. Watch a show. Read a book. Take a nap. Pray. Read God's Word. Something away from the hustle and bustle, and make that time about recharging.

If I don't schedule this time, or allot for it to exist in my life, I'm drained. I'm exhausted. I feel overwhelmed. And while it feels selfish to do so, I realize I can't give what I don't have. If I'm lacking energy, I've got to find more of it, and I find it in the quiet.

Today I finally had my office moved, and oddly enough I think I love it more than my old one. Yay! And I'm determined to make this thing cute. So I've got a classic black, white and gold theme going, and HAD to run to Target after work to get started on my decorating.

I came away with a gold desk lamp, some awesome file folders, bulletin board push pins in the right colors, a small black and white pillow, some under the counter hanging lights, and more. Plus I'm pulling in a lot of the signs I've made, as well as a few DIY projects I've got to accomplish this weekend.

Now I can't wait for Monday.

Tell About a Crazy Adventure You Had Once

this cracks me up.. the lady hilighted it for me too. "don't put anything in your ear smaller than your elbow" i love the size reference too. ha.

This might be another one of those days, that because I didn't hop on writing about it quickly enough, I can't really remember what happened!

A quiet night, rare among the craziness.

Make a Mood Board

My den!

I actually have one for almost every room in the house, but this is the only one I have access to at home.

After another long day at work, with nothing really important to share, I scooted out of work to go shopping for a little bit. Stephen has his guy's Bible Study on Tuesdays, so no need for me to race home.

First though, I ran over to the library to return my book that I've had out for like a whole month. I have a problem with reading. If it doesn't grab my interest quickly enough, it's tough for it to win over watching an episode of a show that evening. So I had to renew this thing like twice, once late, and resulted in a $1 late fee. Seriously I'm just trying to help the library make some extra money.

After picking out a book I wasn't certain about, I ventured into the hallway at the front of the building, where one wall of the hallway is glass to the parking lot, and the other half of the hallway is hand prints on one foot tiles.

See my hand?

And the memories flooded in.

Back in Elementary school, they placed a model of the new library that they planned to build in Lexington in the middle of our library. I remember staring through the plexi glass surrounding the small model of the new library, and thinking how grand it looked.

Before this our town library resided beside the leisure center, it was almost like two large hallways crammed together to make one "large" library. We did have catalog systems on the computer then, bu they were black screens with orange type, and almost blinding to stare at too long.

So in preparation for the opening of the new library, they had a day where you could come and place your hand print on a tile that would be featured in the new library. So my mom took me to the leisure center that day, and I got to do just that. Among many other young kids doing the same, I still clearly remember that day and thinking how special it was that MY hand print would be on their wall forever. I picked yellow paint that day, because it was my mom's favorite and books are her favorite.

So I found Brittany Hilton's little yellow hand print today. I scanned the walls looking at other hand prints recognizing so many classmates, and even some people that today I've managed to meet and make my friends in the present. Kind of funny how these strangers on a wall have become beloved people in my life. God's little fortune cookie memorialized in this wall forever.

After my venture to the library, I headed to World Market and got a message from my mom about why I hadn't visited them (they live a stone throws from the library). So I grabbed some Rush's and headed back to my parents to enjoy an evening with them.

If You Could Switch Lives for a Day with Someone, Who Would it Be & Why?

The thunderstorms this afternoon were so intense that at one point it sounded like the A/C system had just kicked in high gear, because it did not sound like it could be rain. That intense.

Ignore the sideways photos this time...

A Day in the Life of, Through Pictures

Waking up in the early morning....

Great cupholder in the elevator for my coffee

Old lady & rainy days in the office.

The days slowly tick by with this as my view...

Robert Grant's office, with the thunderstorm brewing.

The crazy traffic I sat in for years...

A sweet pup to welcome me home

15 years. It feels like a lifetime ago, and somehow it was just yesterday too. It's weird going back to that day.

The day I grew up really quickly.

I was sitting in health class in my middle school back in 6th grade, as another teacher ran in exclaiming "The World Trade Center was hit!" and quickly switched on the classroom television. We sat watching. Smoke fuming from the building.

In 6th grade, you barely know what New York is, much less the World Trade Center. It seemed bad. It was confusing. I didn't know how to feel. As we watched the TV, the next few minutes proved to be filled with the constant buzz about "how could this have happened?" and so in an effort to resume class, our teacher muted the TV and returned back to teaching.

Until the second hit. And they knew. They knew it was more than an accident.

Someone told me the second tower had been hit, and I told them "No, it was already hit earlier. What do you mean the second one?" See, you're young at this point. Your view of the world is small and limited. Farthest I'd ever known or seen was Mississippi, and that was from the confinement of my car and grandparents home. I learned that day what the World Trade Center was, and how there were two large towers that peaked above the NY skyline. I saw the NY skyline that day. I saw the world that day. A world that could be filled with hate and loathing.

We were America. Didn't people love us? Didn't they want to be us? How could they hate us?

The TV volume was turned up from that point on. Going from class to class as each teacher had the news streaming constantly throughout the day.

The world stopped that day. At least from the Eastern Time Zone to the Pacific Time Zone. No one cared that we weren't doing school work. No one cared that teachers weren't doing their jobs. Everyone knew. You knew that life wasn't going to be the same after this. This had changed every thing we'd known to this point.

I remember thinking that Christmas, and every Christmas after that, how the magic of Christmas was gone. And while those two don't seem connected at all, I think that day started chipping away at my childhood. I had to grow up to know what was going on, and that meant letting in parts of the world that my parents had shielded me from. Life just couldn't be the same after that day. The magic was gone.



And so tonight, I really wanted to watch a tribute to 9-11 and just remind myself of where America has been and where it is today. We turned on the TV at 8pm, and began to watch History Channel's special 102 Minutes That Changed America. I was hoping for a memorial of that day, testimonies from people who were there, those that had family members, but instead it was 102 minutes of what took place. First hand videos minute by minute.

I didn't sign up for this. But they didn't either.

Our den was silent as Stephen, Matt and I watched for the next 2 and a half hours the horror that took place that day. The hurt. The confusion. The terror. The questions. So many questions.

It's weird experiencing that day again as an adult. Knowing what these people were about to face. Wanting to scream and warn them through the TV. Knowing what we would face over the next few years in result of this.

And then finding hope. Knowing that we rebuilt. That we didn't forget. We'll never forget.

Three Books | You've Read, Are Reading, and Want to Read

Let me preface this with I'm not much of a reader. Although the past 3 months or so I've been trying to read. So really because my memory is so short, this is just a collection of the last few books I read.

Read: On Folly Beach by Karen White 

From the beginning, just like Emmy, you become engulfed in the mystery of a past love and secret messages. This book had me hooked from the first chapter, and as I flipped from chapter to chapter, each person's perspective changed too, meaning I never grew weary of the story. Plus it taking place on an island I love was an extra dose of goodness.

Reading: The Time Between by Karen White

I know, I know. I just gave you another book by her. I'm kind of hung up on SC Fiction right now, and Karen White gives a heavy dose of it in most of her books--including her obsession with pluff mud. This book was good, but I really didn't get interested until the last tenth of it. Not nearly as engaging as the first one, but still a great story. The fact it took place on Edisto Island where I practically spent all my beach vacations with my family, put me right down on the Island in the midst of this story. I could see it all taking place, and where it took place.

Want to Read: I have no idea. It will probably be another Karen White for simplicity sake. Although there are one or two "self help/devotion" books I've seen a few other people reading I think might be good. That description is not accurate, but it's about as close as I can think of a way of describing them. Any suggestions?

Today, despite his cold, Stephen had to wake up to go into work. Thankfully it's a half day, and thankfully his day doesn't begin till 8 (instead of 6:30). I on the other hand, slept in. A lot.

When Stephen got home, I have to admit we did really nothing at all. After a few fun filled moments at home along with a nap or two, we ventured out into the big bad world and picked us up some Peanut Butter Captain Crunch and the Batman vs Superman movie.

We watched the movie. It ended, and so did the day.

I've been begging for this quietness in my life, and it seems the Lord just needed me to be patient. I know another wave of busy-ness will come, but I'm going to soak up what I need here while I can.

Favorite Instagramers--who should you follow?

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A video posted by JULIA MARCUM homebody 🏡 (@chrislovesjulia) on Sep 8, 2016 at 7:33pm PDT

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A video posted by Tom Lenk (@tommylenk) on Jul 10, 2016 at 1:55pm PDT

This morning I spent most of it on the couch. Which is really unfortunate as my husband had to work some more long hours today. I did get a great text from Joanna, and quickly rushed over to her place with Cookout Reese's milkshakes in tow.

After spending only two quick hours with her and Jack, I raced back home to beat Tori from getting to the house first. Thankfully I arrived a few minutes before her, and was able to clean up the house just a little before she came. Tried to make it smell better, but as of now that's kind of a mute point--it never really works.

We headed to Harbison, ate at Chicken Salad Chick, walked down to Five Below and managed to buy a multitude of things for other people and a few things for myself. Around 7, we dashed into Columbia Grande to watch The Light Between Oceans.

If you could go anywhere in the world, where would it be? Why?

She traveled from Thailand to Vietnam to the Philippines

Please...psatries... now.

This photo is courtesy of my pastor

His family lives outside the city as missionaries