I've kind of avoided this place. You know it becomes a shameful venture when you realize you gave up on the goals you set for yourself--to keep talking about one good thing a day. And while sometimes thinking of this little corner of the web-sphere haunts me, I go back occasionally just to remember the little days that slip by so quickly never to be remembered again. So even if it's not every day, I need to remember some days. Especially these days.

Yesterday, the blog that started it all posted some news that seems very similar to our own news a few months ago. Funny enough I think we are almost exactly due at the same time. While she found out about 4 weeks after I did, we both announced to family and friends on the same day--Mother's Day.

Our little girl: Camber Blake Prahl

So now here I am 29 weeks with this little life inside of me, about 2.5 more months to go, and some days I'm beyond excited and other days I'm beyond nervous. I don't know that I ever knew what to expect, but I think I had some preconceived notions. It's interesting now to see how pregnancy and the beginning stages of motherhood have been in comparison to what I once thought it'd be. So I think I want to list just random thoughts so far. The expected, the unexpected, etc.

1. I thought I'd be ready for this one day. I am 29 years old. Younger me would probably freak out that I'm almost 30 with no children. And while 29 seems old, especially in comparison to so many in our ministry at church, it also seems so young. I think I thought I'd just know one day that I was ready, but that day never came. Months ago Stephen and I decided if it happened, we'd be excited. So we never pushed or "tried" for a baby, but month after month when my period came I found that I was getting a ping of disappointment. I still wasn't ready to be a mom, but I also wasn't ready to never be a mom.
2. I thought I'd have room in my life for this little one. I think with being ready for a baby, there comes this element of thinking that I'd have extra time, space, energy, etc for a little one and that's how I'd know we were ready. Life gets busier and busier unfortunately. I blink my eyes and a week passes, I realize I've not washed my hair, done laundry, or even grocery shopped at all in those 7 days. So I am supposed to be ready to care for me but another human too? 
3. I thought I'd be creative and pop the news to Stephen in a really cute way. That did not happen. After like two pregnancy tests of uncertainty, finally taking the test that read "pregnant" I just couldn't speak. I walked out of the bathroom and into the den, and just showed him the pregnancy test. Even 3 days later I took another test, because we just weren't convinced it was real.
4. I thought I'd feel super connected to this baby right away, and feel 100% pregnant throughout the entire pregnancy. Yeah no. About 2 weeks ago did I finally start looking pregnant (which was a shocker to me that it took so long). About 4 weeks ago did I finally start feeling movement. For a long time the only sign I was pregnant was that I was tired and nauseous. The ultrasounds felt like watching a video of someone else's kid, because that could not be inside of me! I've had some days where I sit in her soon to be nursery and just think and pray of all the things she'll be when she gets here, and there are other days I'm in complete denial any of this is happening.
5. This pregnancy has oddly not been overly mushy gushy. I am kind of happy that I've been able to be real about this pregnancy. I've not been all heart eyes and baby crazy throughout the pregnancy. Instead, people ask how I feel, I tell them I feel like crap. When people ask am I ready, I tell them I'm freaking out a little. Because to me, I know I'm going to so enjoy this next stage, but right now in this one, the idea of giving up the life I know is daunting. I also feel like not being overly mushy gushy has allowed me to stay connected to my friends who aren't pregnant. I've not sugar coated anything,and they can laugh at me or with me when things get weird or silly. I do have a feeling once that child is here though, I'm going to be the annoying mom posting 100 pictures and gushing over every little accomplishment this child makes. I mean I do that for my dogs.
6. Although, at times I've felt the overwhelming burden of the love for this child. I know this love will increase like 1000x because right now it feels more like just being protective than love, but I have had a couple of near meltdowns if not full meltdowns about the well being of this child. About a week after I found out I was pregnant, I got sick. Like body chills, super high temperature sick. I started sobbing that night because all I could think about was how little this peanut was at the time,and my raised body temperature might hurt it. Since then everything has been pretty smooth sailing, except a few days ago I had no movement from her for like a day and a half. I didn't worry for the first day, but when the movement still didn't come that next morning I began panicking. Thankfully she's started moving again, just in a whole different way--I think she's on the move! 
7. It's strange to me, to think of my parents like I do Stephen and I. As you grow up, you realize your parents are completely different than you once thought they were. They no longer are the super heroes your mind made them to be as a kid (although I beyond cherish them in a new way). You realize they are human and sometimes had to make decisions they didn't really know the answer to--but you just never doubted they had all the answers at the time. You figure their life started when you came into the world, but now realize you were just a happy addition to their already great life. Where I once figured I was the center of their world, I realize I wasn't. I realize this little girl won't be the center of ours, but she'll be a huge part of it. One day, she'll feel the same way about us as I did my parents and as I now feel about my parents.
8. I can't think of this child beyond infancy. I try to imagine sometimes what she'll be like. What kind of quirks and personality traits she will have, but it terrifies me to think of her growing up already. To think of all those life stages we'll have to jump through with her, because I feel like it'll make me more old or more of a parent, but also because if I think about it now I feel like time is already passing by too quickly. I mean I felt like December was forever away, and how fun fall was going to be pregnant--but we're already halfway through October and in 11 weeks she'll be here! Ahh!! 
9. Being pregnant is not really that great, but there are some fun parts. I think I thought I'd love being pregnant. It's not been bad. Once the nausea subsided, I felt human again and the second trimester really did feel like a honeymoon. But I didn't look pregnant still, so I almost didn't feel pregnant at all. Now that I have a belly, I kind of enjoy that part--although going to bed with my husband and being intimate do not feel sexy. I thought I would feel empowered by this life I'm growing, and feel so confident and sexy to him--no. While he does all the right things, says all the right things,and definitely still finds me attractive--I feel like a whale. I do enjoy having people ask about the pregnancy (although the same questions over and over get tiring), and while I'm not disabled, I do find it hilarious how much people bend over backwards to make sure I'm not lifting things, etc. I also have a standard excuse to get out of anything--I'm pregnant. 
10. I am still terrified of giving birth. I've just avoided preparing for giving birth this entire pregnancy. I know soon I'll have to go to some sort of class at the hospital to attempt to be prepared, but the thought of the pain and pushing this child into this world give me the chills. Either way, I know it'll go fast, so there is no need to worry about it too much in the meantime right? 
11. I really hope this child is ready to do life alongside us. I think one of the best pieces of advice I've been given (although obviously yet to put into practice) is to not adjust your life for this child, let your child adjust their life to you. I think in this culture of catering to your child's every whim and desire, as well as trying to be a friend over a parent, parents lives somehow get lost in their child's life. I don't want to look at the end of 18 years and realize I no longer know the man I married. I chose Stephen for life, while this baby will just grace us with her presence for 18 years or so. So I hope she's ready to just live life with us. Going on trips. Working on cars. Investing in others. Serving in ministry. Loving Jesus. 
12. I know one day it'll feel short, but 18 years seems like such a commitment. It still freaks me out to think we made a decision that will not only guarantee 18 years of my life to change, but the rest of it to change. Sometimes I feel proud enough in myself to think that we chose to adopt dogs knowing that we'd have to care for them for like 10-15 years. 
13. Some parts of pregnancy are not pleasant. I have started finding dried crusty stuff on my boobs, I am leaking what I assume is pee, and the stretch marks have started to show up on my belly. It is also really cool, yet very freaky to have these sensations in my stomach that are kicks and pushes. I feel like I just get really excited about twitches--like there's really not a person in there. 

I've not felt much up to writing lately. I've been nauseous for about 2 months straight, but I'm finally finding relief most days. Now I'm just dealing with feeling overly full, because my appetite is still pretty low in comparison to normal me.

But I'm human again. For that I am thankful.

I've noticed lately, that I feel like I've fallen in love with my husband all over again. He's stretched himself in ways for me the past two months I wouldn't have expected, and he does it with such a selfless heart. He's been my provider and comfort far more than he probably knows.


I know I'm stretching into the mushy gushy. Sorry. I need an outlet.


There are times where I've wondered how I got so lucky with him. I know he's not perfect for every woman out there, but he is beyond perfect for me. I look back at the little time I knew him, how certain I was he was who I was meant to be with, and know that God's hand was in all of it. Stephen far exceeds the expectations of a man I set for myself, and I know that is only a God thing.

Today a friend posted this article about finding "the one". While I know I definitely didn't search my heart probably the way that she did, nor did I dig deep into what the Word says a husband should be, I know that at that point in my life God was working through me in big ways. When I depended on Him, God provided a man that I didn't know was the definition of a husband I needed, but was the obvious choice when put in front of me.

Even when I first met Stephen, he was unlike anyone else I knew. He was funny, fun to be around, outgoing, friendly, non-judgemental, and immediately I knew his heart was one that loved the Lord. It shined through him, and the way that friends spoke about him. He was someone that friends treasured, and I knew in that he was someone I should treasure.

He was the unobtainable. For at least 6 months I remember thinking about him frequently, trying to catch his attention, and stalking his FB page. Hey. It's what we do now. For the next 2 years I kept up with him from afar, trying to interact with him when the opportunity presented itself. All the while I knew that this was a man who deserved a special woman, and I was not sure I fit that definition. Thankfully God began molding me into someone who was worthy of such a man over those two years. Something done outside of my desires for Stephen, but was done by God changing my heart individually.

So when I took a leap of faith two years later to contact Stephen, Stephen reached back quickly. Somehow he'd taken notice of me over those two years, and just like I knew he was someone to be treasured, I think God had placed that same feeling in his heart.

We weren't perfect people. In fact when Stephen made his intentions clear to me, I had to confess some pretty serious things to him about my past. Things I was not proud of. But I knew this was a man worthy to be treasured, and I could not treat him anything less than that. He needed to know who he was agreeing to be with, and praise the Lord God used that to affirm in his heart I was the one (when it easily could have gone the opposite way).


So in reading this article, I read the definition of who Stephen was then and now. The definition I didn't know word by word then. Thank goodness the Holy Spirit moves within in us to affirm these things, even when we don't know the "definition".

• Have a good reputation because he’s proven himself to be a man of character and worth by his actions. Stephen was spoken about highly by many people I knew.
• He will have a solid relationship with the Lord, which is of great importance for a woman of worth (3:11). Thus, you will be equally yoked in your relationship, with each person growing in their faith, serving the Lord, and evidencing the fruit of the Holy Spirit. Wait and observe how deep his Christianity goes. Does it show only when you are around, or is it full on all the time? Does he pray with you? Read the Bible with you? Attend church with you? Does he read the Bible, obey scripture, pray, and attend church on his own time? Is he respecting you according to God’s standards? Stephen's love for God and the church shined through in our conversations and what I saw him speak about and do on FB.

• Protect your purity, as well as his own, by respecting boundaries. He knows that sex is a sacred act to be enjoyed only in marriage, and he appreciates your high standards. He never placed pressure on me to compromise our purity before marriage.
• Guard your heart, by making known his intentions to pursue you when the time is right. You will know where he stands.  He won’t lead you on by just “hanging out” with you for an extended period of time, enjoying the benefits of your company without accepting appropriate responsibility toward you. Within a week of our first date, Stephen made his heart known by sharing he wanted to not only date me, but why and what he was willing to do to make that happen.

• Work hard.  He is a mature, responsible man with right priorities. Being a provider is not about making lots of money. It’s about a man meeting the basic needs of his wife and children. He’s disciplined in work and with money. Stephen was always smart with his money, and a hardworker long before me. When we decided to get married though, he very quickly was willing to move to Lexington to allow me to continue to pursue my education at USC. Searched high and low for a job that would allow us to take care of ourselves, and me work part-time.
• Properly understand a man’s Biblical role as the leader of the household. Under his leadership and banner of protection, you will feel safe and secure as his wife. This is because he has your best interests in mind, serves you sacrificially, and loves you as Christ loved the church. (If he doesn’t read the Bible and attend church regularly he won’t know how to be this man) I never had to doubt that Stephen would lead me spiritually and as a husband in our life together.

• Find you attractive!  It’s important to have the “spark.” This was there from the first day we met! 
• Cherish your inner beauty.  It is good for a man to marry a woman with the kind of loveliness that cannot fade.  He appreciates these qualities in you, and will encourage you verbally when he notices you acting with integrity, kindness, and love. Stephen saw beneath the surface of who I was, very quickly. Those were the qualities he latched on to, and why certain things never scared him away.
• Study you.  He will find out what makes you tick, and seek to understand you more fully over time.  He will notice what you enjoy, and do little things from time-to-time just to make you smile. Even now, Stephen knows exactly the buttons to push to make me laugh or the things to do to make me happy.

• Look for opportunities to bless others. I knew stories of Stephen giving his time and money sacrificially.
• Serve wholeheartedly He was dedicated to the church and serving in roles he didn't always feel called to, but knew were needed.
• Give generously, as God prompts him to do so. See above. :)
• Be kind and loving to the “littlest and least,” not looking down on others in self-righteousness. Stephen has always been a friend to everyone. EVERYONE.
• Utilize his spiritual gifts to edify the body of believers and honor God. He was a man of God long before he knew me. Nothing was for show, and he didn't deny his gifts to be used for the causes of Christ.

• Does not manipulate, cheat, or lie.  He has nothing to hide.
• He will not abuse you: call you names or put his hands on you ever!
• Does what is right, even when it’s hard.
• Respects the authorities in his life.
• Continually seeks the wise counsel of a more seasoned Christian man, such as a pastor or mentor, who will come alongside him, ask tough questions, hold him accountable, and encourage him in Christ-likeness. All the above! When Stephen's character has been called into question, God quickly has shined a light on the situation revealing his integrity and character as pure. Even when Stephen has been tempted to do otherwise, the Holy Spirit has convicted him into proper action. Stephen constantly sought the wisdom of his spiritual mentors during our time dating, and following!

Well almost a whole month later to the day, and I'm back in here writing. I can barely stay awake past 9 pm anymore, so my days feel short, and the time I have to do things is even shorter. But there is news, and I need to document that stuff.

We found out about 6 weeks ago...

that's the big news I was hinting at

So hence the tiredness. And the nausea.

I am really excited. I'm really terrified too. But I'm really excited for this new chapter in our lives. While so much right now seems like uncertainties, God's been preparing me to get farther and farther out of my comfort zone right?

And while I know it's not the pretty thing to say, can I just say I'm so ready to be done with this first trimester? The nausea is getting more manageable (been struggling for about 3 weeks now), but I just do not feel like me.

Stephen and I ran an errand when I got home last night from work. We ended up going out to eat, which I have no appetite lately, so that's interesting. We enjoyed a quiet evening talking and catching up, which was so needed. As soon as I got home, 30 min later at 9pm I'm dead asleep. I don't wake up again until 12am when I drag Stephen and I off the couch to go upstairs to bed.

Plus I almost ate raw fish (sushi roll) last night, but my caring husband stopped me. I may have wanted to slap him, cause I just wanted the tiny sushi roll, but baby is safe.

In 10 weeks we will find out the gender!! Everyone seems convinced it's going to be a girl, but according to "Ramzi Theory" it'll be a boy. So I guess I'm back on the fence on what I believe this little one will be.

So next year we will be starting a whole new way of life, and while terrified, I can't wait to see what goodness will come from this! 

my thoughts [higher] than your thoughts -- Isaiah 55:9

Today is an exciting day, but I'll have to wait a little bit before sharing any details, since this is technically public. Worth the wait I promise.

Spent most of the early day with Stephen getting some poles put up for the stringed lights going around our patio. It looks awesome, but I think we'll end up having to criss cross them across the patio instead of around the perimeter because we have so much extra length that has no home.

This evening I met up with the girls from church go over the Mother's Day baskets. We first enjoyed some awesome frozen yogurt--seriously one of the best yogurt shops around.

These ladies are pretty fun to be around, and love getting to enjoy early summer evening eating ice cream, talking on their outdoor patio, and discussing God. Pretty stellar way to end the day.

Since Stephen is now self-employed, we both technically have Fridays off. So today we checked out the property he's considering leasing for the car dealership. While it's more of a shell than a real building, it has the essentials and now my mind has been racing about what we can do to spruce this place up into a real business. I think it will do!

After we came home for a bit, took a little nap and a few other things, we headed back out this evening for a date. My sweet hubby had messaged me on Facebook asking if I'd go on a date with him this Friday, so he had all the details planned.

He took me to the tiny town of Peak, SC--which if you peak for just a second you've seen it all. We found part of the Palmetto trail that is a state project trying to stretch one walking path across the entire state and then I think beyond.

So one portion we walked were old train tracks converted into a walking path. It crossed over some small streams, and then took you deep into the forest. Stephen managed to find another portion of the trail you could enter on that looked interesting, so we drove 6 minutes and found the start of this trail on the edge of the Broad River.

It was massive. Here they'd converted the pony truss bridge that carried the train across the river into a walking path. We walked through a few camp sites getting set up for the weekend, smelling hot dogs roasting over a fire. We walked the entire span of the bridge seeing old ruins down in the shallow river waters from where the bridge had been burned down at one point during the Civil War. There were people fishing in kayaks on the river, and the weather was perfect. The whole area was beautiful.

After our walk, we worked up a hunger, and Stephen took us to Chapin to enjoy J. Richards Grill and Bar. Delicious food. Small town Copper River Grill almost. 

Tonight after Unleashed, we headed to IHOP like normal. Our waiter has become our regular there every third Thursday or so. He's about our age, and has really seemed to gravitate towards our group, always telling us we take care of him when we come. Which is impressive cause we have a bunch of poor kids trying to buy a meal, but glad to hear people compensate him adequately.

A week or so ago I became a bit obsessed with some Instagram videos on watercolors, and doing watercolor calligraphy. So I texted my now expert Tori and asked if she'd done any watercolors. She of course showed me her ways last Friday, so I've been experimenting.

Tonight was using my brand new brush markers from Amazon, as well as a watercolor brush pen. It soaks up colors into the bristle, but you load up the handle with water (either clear or tinted). It's amazing! It gives you all the benefits of a brush marker (the flexibility and smoothness) with the perks of watercolor (inconsistent coloration, little bits of brush strokes).

Tried is the key word...

These are large brush markers

These are Watercolor Brush drills

Love the lack of color in some spots

The girls and I are in the planning stages of trying to go on a cruise! Eek! We think we've finally found one we can all take time off for, and sounds amazing. Royal Caribbean from Tampa to Key West to Havana, Cuba to Cozumel, Mexico. Can't wait! Now just to hope prices go down, and rooms stay available.

This marks Stephen's last week with TCI. I am very excited to see him makes his dreams a reality.

Yes I may be slightly dragging my feet in the process. I'll catch up eventually.

Today with not much on the agenda after church, I decided to pick up the supplies I need for the stringed lights on our patio.

Here's my inspiratoin

So a few months ago I manged to snag about 8 plastic tall planters in brown for $5 each. Unreal. Six of them are to live with us as the bases for our light poles.

I can't wait to make this happen!

Tonight we attempted to try and regain one of our college and career crew by inviting them to the drive in, which we figured they would love as well as the movie we were watching. Unfortunately that was not a success.

But we had a success in that the evening was incredibly fun. Even though my planning self gets all worked up and nervous about everything going "perfectly" because I've planned it. Nothing perfect about a drive-in movie in the cold.

Yes the cold. Apparently we're back in January again, because we all froze underneath quilted blankets and makeshift blankets out of sleeping bags. We struggled.

But Beauty and the Beast was just as amazing the second time around, and Kong was surprisingly really good. I can't get enough of being loud, crazy, and hanging with awesome people in the middle of Monetta watching a giant projection on a giant screen as we blare our radio to listen to the audio.

While drive-ins are our era, I'm claiming them. Makes me feel like I'm old fashioned, and I love it.

I didn't do a whole lot today, but just enough to stay busy. Managed to do some grocery shopping, appearing to be a real adult for a short time, as well as get our A/C people in the house to do our annual check up on the system. 

Huh?

Today we got to take a photo with our Reading Buddy for the volunteer wall at HB Rhame. I have no idea how the photo turned out, but I keep enjoying reading with Keith more and more. He's a great kid, and man he makes me feel like 100 bucks. I managed to snap a photo of his sweet hands as he decided he really loved this book we've yet to read, and so he wanted to make sure we got the sequel that was on the back cover.

Maggie the dog tales

Tonight at Unleashed I had a talk with Hannah and Steve as we've been trying to reach out to a friend who's been gone for a while. Nothing seems to work, and as much as we try and love on her, she's just not having it. Thankfully Hannah seems to have made a little dent in the armor our friend is wearing, and so we encouraged her to continue loving as long as our friend would let her. Doesn't make it easy. When someone rejects everything you send their way, it's hard to keep going. But love is a sacrifice sometimes right?

Well the weather is back at it again today. All sorts of tornado warnings have been going off throughout the southeast, so our work closed down at 11 am. Yep pretty sure SCBC may be afraid of it's own shadow at this point. I really do appreciate their wanting to keep us safe, but guys, really?

Make the most of it right? So I left work, went to Sandy's for a hot dog where I joked with the staff about the fact they'd have to duck for cover under the counters if the tornadoes decided to show up (because you gotta serve them hot dogs), and went straight to Stephen's work.

I ended up hanging out with him until 2:30pm or so when the sky turned an awful black color and it looked like the sky was about to fall out.

I barely made it home, because about a mile out the rains were so intense. It did seem to lighten up by the time I pulled in the driveway, so I made a mad run for it to the front porch. Sitting on the couch, listening to the rain, and diving into Experiencing God was a perfect way to end the afternoon.

So appreciative of these quiet moments.

I've hinted over the past couple of weeks the inability for Lisa and I to get together. I guess God always knows what He is doing--okay I don't guess, I KNOW-- because at a time where I'm ready to "write someone off" God just won't let me.

So we finally met up, and it was completely worth it.

One, Lisa is great to talk to really. She's a counselor by profession, but she doesn't critique and analyze me (at least not to my face! ha). Instead we just talk. We talk like we've known each other for a really long time. It's hard to find people I feel comfortable around, and don't have to try too hard with. I've been able to be there for her at times, and it's good to feel like you can help out someone and that they need you from time to time.

Lisa previously has asked me to kind of walk through her as she does some assessments with a small group she's in at church. I felt pretty honored she'd ask me, and totally unequipped at the same time. But figuring not really anyone knows what they are getting into when they decide to help someone go through these assessments, I said yes hoping God would give me the tools to figure it out.

When I say that tonight was a God moment, it was without a doubt one. I can say that with 100% certainty. God showed up. I was in tears, because I knew in this moment He was speaking right to me.

Again feeling completely unequipped, I just know that God keeps putting people in my path, very specific people, and there is no denying that it's God alone doing it.

I was in shock, and it made me feel like a fool for ever considering giving up on this friendship.

A few weeks ago I stepped out in obedience to something, God showed up that night, and God continues to show up today from that act of obedience. I would not be aware nor in a place to acknowledge the work God is doing right now.

Do I still feel unequipped? Oh my goodness yes! Do I know that God can be strong in my weaknesses? Wholeheartedly.

Going to try to keep stepping out in obedience, because my God is bigger than all this! 

Work let out a little early today, as the darkening skies suggested we stay inside and put as soon and as long as possible. Since so many of our people have to travel a good distance to get back home, SCBC has always been pretty proactive in making sure we have ample time to avoid bad weather situations.

So we let out at 3pm, while super nice of work to make sure we got home safe, I was just super excited to have a couple extra hours to my day. I wasn't quite ready to be back at work, so it was a nice break from the normal.

Stephen and I watched from our back sliding glass door as the wind picked up, the skies turned black, and the rain poured down in sheets across the field behind our home. It was intense, but the power stayed on and it passed quickly.

Days like this always make me super thankful for the house that surrounds us. 

Church this morning was really good, out of the normal but good. We've been going through the Experiencing God book, and Mark has been leading our group. While he's done an excellent job, Stephen filled in for him this morning and did a great job facilitating discussion.

I think I've missed that part. Just discussing. Sharing what we've learned. Sharing how God is working through us in the material. While we get that most Sundays, we just seemed to get so much more of it today. Don't know if everyone was just in the right mood, or God just proposed some really good questions.

I find myself reaching for this study more and more with eagerness and earnest. Excited to see where God takes this.

This morning I woke up really early to catch a ride with Chad and Andrew to a "Way of the Master" course out at Hulon Baptist Church--the middle of nowhere.

I would be understating it if I said I was blown away by how much I gained from the course, but I really was blown away! It gave a whole new perspective on how to present the gospel and begin gospel conversations with others.

We are taught so often to share of all the good God has done and will continue to do in your life once you're a believer--while true, not sharing the fact that you are indeed a sinner, that you will face hardships, etc--really means we begin to perpetuate the idea of the prosperity gospel at the time of someone's conversion.

"Give your life to Christ and you will be filled with so many blessings and joys!"

So true, but we are also promised a lot of other things too--some not so pretty things.

So without going too much in detail, it definitely gave me a new outlook on how to share the gospel, a holistic picture!

I sneezed through the entire course, and by the time I got home this evening, my allergies had begun to turn into a full fledged sickness--yay! 

Tonight Stephen and I headed over to my parents house for an early birthday get together for my dad! He is turning 70 on April 19, and that is too crazy for me to believe.

You should be aware he hates birthday parties. He hates getting gifts. That makes it really intimidating when you WANT to do something and you WANT to get him something.

I could only remember having bought a yard stake that's a decorative piece made out of spoons/forks to comprise a dragonfly--one of our inside jokes. I knew it'd be sentimental enough and unique enough he'd appreciate it, instead of dread it.

But right before we left, I remembered I had a Christmas gift that arrived late for him. So I had held on to it for the perfect moment--THIS MOMENT.

He doesn't actually have a Nikon.. it's a Sony

My dad LOVED it. I mean was falling over himself at how funny and useful it was. So glad he liked it, because I figured it'd be another trinket.

One of my favorite feelings in the world is being tucked away inside a warm dimly lit room with a storm raging on outside. While work is not the most relaxing environment--is any place with fluorescent lighting?--every now and then I get a little peak at comfort from the view of my office.

☔☔☔☔

A post shared by Brittany Prahl (@diednsaved) on Mar 30, 2017 at 12:26pm PDT

Sometimes these weeks just feel like such a routine. Nothing too out of the normal, the same pattern of events as the week before. So tonight was just another Thursday.

But really, while I dread going to Unleashed sometimes--because it's hard for me to be "extroverted" and willing to engage 30 different people--the nights are always so filling and rewarding.

God uses this time to stretch me. Not only do we always get an awesome message, but just through fellowship with others I can feel Him developing qualities in me I don't naturally possess.

We headed out to IHOP afterwards. I downed some delicious eggs with basil and tomatoes in them, and of course a short stack of pancakes. Got to sit around some amazing people laughing and carrying on as normal.

The mundane can be okay sometimes. The routine can be welcomed.

Tonight I was supposed to go hang out with Lisa, since we missed going out last Tuesday due to some miscommunication. But work let her off a little early, and so we opted to try again next week. We'll see.

So instead I came home to a quiet house, enjoying a quiet evening with the hubby. Can't complain about that. 

Came home to a new cell phone cover. I'm not sure I've mentioned my love for my Citi credit card that ties into Amazon and will use my points via Amazon--have I mentioned that? Well this is about the 3rd time now that my points ended up almost paying for my entire purchase. My $25 case was a $1.25 with free shipping (yay Prime!), and was waiting on me when I arrived home.

LG V20 Pierre Cardin Cover

Perfect fit. It's all leather, and while it leaves the top and bottom of the phone a little vulnerable, I already find myself less worried about scratching this dumb thing.

I've already broken the case in though, since it's leather it has a couple scratches. Although I learned from my purse that I bought a few months ago, I like the leather as it shows use, little scratches and scuffs.

I feel like Joanna Gaines would approve, and that's all that matters in life now right? JUST KIDDING.

Tonight's Table Gathering with 1000x better than my little worried heart had worked itself up to. We talked about prayer. I felt some of the questions were a little disjointed, but honestly we had some really great discussion and there were 5 of us total.

So thankful for these ladies that desire community and studying God's Word.

We've been discussing in our Experiencing God study about hearing God's voice and joining Him in the work He's already doing. While our discussion has allowed for me to see that hearing God's voice is not nearly as intimidating as I sometimes make it out to be (do I see God at work now, what do I discover when I pray to Him, where do I feel the Holy Spirit leading or prompting me, what do other believers say, what is the Bible telling me or reconfirming in me, and what do my circumstances show me), sometimes I still feel lost as to what the answer is.

So tonight I mentioned to Stephen we would probably only have two girls again for tomorrow's Table Gathering. Not bad, it's intended for a small group of women, but still small. Unfortunately Tuesday's is just not the best night for everyone. Essentially it's the best night for me.

I felt selfish at first, but my heart keeps coming back to I can't make this work for me to lead/facilitate unless it is on a Tuesday. I can't commit to having 4 nights of my week away from Stephen and home, knowing that the other 3 days of the week quickly fill up with friends, family and other activities. So my 3 days a week isn't really 3 days a week. My introvert self needs that rest, needs that time alone, needs that time to recharge, and with 4 days a week occupied my heart is uneasy.

Also, not to mention I don't see myself as a leader or a facilitator. If someone else is up to the task, I'd gladly let them step in. At times I find myself in spots to lead, and I'm okay or semi comfortable with it. I know there are times where God is going to ask me to stretch myself, and I eventually come around. While I've enjoyed these nights, I feel uneasy the whole time. I stress the day before, the day of, and sometimes afterwards. It ends up consuming days of my life.

But then I come back to, am I letting God lead? Is this God's desire? Am I the person He has given this task, or am I simply a filler until that person gets here? Do I need to be doing things out of obligation, or do I truly feel God has called me to this?

I'm not sure. I know our girls need a place they feel comfortable and safe to share with others. I know they need a spot that's not a distraction, but truly encourages openness and community. I think I've felt their need for that, and I wanted to be able to start creating that place for them. Is that enough though?


Feeling a bit lost. Just going to stay in it until I get a clear indication from God to move on. 

After a full day at church, discussing Experiencing God and learning about D personalities with the DISC profile (so not a D personality here), Stephen and I ran out to look at new phones.

It was super painless actually. I expected go in there and have to fight to keep the awesome deal we have going right now, but Erin our sales person was super helpful and nice. Instead we said what we wanted, looked at a few phones, and ended up walking out with some nice ones not paying TOO much more than we were before. Thank goodness for no contracts anymore--although this paying monthly on a phone thing is irritating.

Ended up spending the rest of my night trying to reorganize my phone. I think I've got it down pat now.

Thankfully I was able to scoot out early this afternoon thanks to a great group of people who packed quickly, and efficiently--especially Bradden and Keelie! Man they were good packers.

So I ventured back down to Columbia. Quickly got changed just in time for Stephen and I to make it to Anna and David's wedding. We were convinced they'd started early because we walked in the lobby and there Anna was with the whole bridal party waiting to walk down the aisle--10 minutes early! It would be an Anna thing to do.

The happy couple!

They had a great reception, with amazing food, and even better people. Felt like an Unleashed party, and was good to hang out with so many people I love! 

Woke up early this morning and drove with Donna and the gang to the church. We opened up the bookstore at 8:30am, with not many people coming in before the first session began.

But at lunch time the flood gates opened. I'm not 100% sure if the card reader we've been using helps make things go quicker, or slower, or the same. Either way I think the ability to charge credit cards as well as keep track of what is selling has been a huge benefit to us already.

During sessions I hid alone in the book store taking a little rest before the masses of people came flooding through.

Before we knew it the first day was already over, and we were trying to decide on dinner. Heather had recommended Willys Tacos, so we ended up giving this Catina a try.

So good. So stinking good. It was like Torchy's Tacos in Austin, TX but in Spartanburg, SC. So of course I had to text Melinda ASAP about it.

Thankfully everyone else loved it as much as I did, and I know I'll be back there soon with Heather, Kayla, and Jenn. I'm getting hungry again.

Today our office headed to Boiling Springs for our Annual Meeting. Troy had already made it to the church and unloaded all the bookstore items, making the rest of the day go very quickly.

We managed to get the screens up, and they looked a whole lot better than I imagined.

Not too shabby.

We also had to put up 8 displays. Thankfully Mary Ellen and Melanie went to town on decorating the tables--and asked me minimal questions about how to do it! Which is what I wanted. :) They just used their creativity to make it happen.

WMU Display

Partnership Display

Camp Display

Project Help: PTSD, Refugees, and Human Trafficking Display

CWJC and CMJC Display

WorldCrafts Display

Growth Display

We laughed our heads off at videos during dinner after everything was complete.

With a work light flooding our yard and the neighbor's yard we finally finished the screens for the event this weekend. They are a little wonky, but for the most part should do the job.

Tonight was a quiet evening. We finished the screens, and then headed over to Chick-fil-a where the staff was having a rough time keeping it together. So we blessed our chicken tenders and chicken sandwich, and asked for an easier night for the staff there.

Then we came home and watched lots of Parks and Rec. A good evening indeed.

Almost forgot this evening that I had a dinner date with a friend. Unfortunately when I wasn't getting responses to my texts about where we should finally meet up, I pretty much knew that she was going to bail on me. It's kind of been the pattern with her.

She's introverted. I get it, so am I. So there are times I'd rather bail on a get together with someone than go to it, because it's like I work it up so much in my head that the idea of a simple friend date gets to be overwhelming. But because my desire to see that person and also not disappoint them win out, I show up. Unfortunately with her, she doesn't.

So while she finally replied to me, and we tried to call one another through a bad connection, I was getting the strong impression that she wanted to reschedule. So I told her "not to worry about it" and headed home, to only have her ask me where I was headed and did I want to go to Mellow Mushroom.

Bump that.

I'm not up for being your last option or a possibility. Especially when you've asked me to be someone who supports and keeps you accountable but it's been 3 weeks and you've not made the first attempt to try and get together. While on the other hand I have been met with your lack of commitment and respect towards me.

This post is taking a different turn that it normally does. But life is messy and real right? I do not appreciate feeling used in times of hardships with her, and abandoned with it's good in her life. She's been the friend who has needed me, and it makes it really hard to try and cultivate a friendship because it's been a lot of giving and no receiving.

So it may end up being one of those life lessons where I am going to have to learn to let go of someone in my life. But we did reschedule for this coming Wednesday, so we'll see how that goes. It may be the sure tell sigh I need to make a decision on is this worth working at. 

Tonight after work, Stephen and I worked on 3 screen door frames to hopefully create an accordion screen that would work as a prayer wall for the WMU Annual Meeting this coming weekend. Stephen managed to get the screens out the frames, but quickly learned the framing was super weak and almost being held together by the screens. So we battled taping and fixing the framing, and are hoping it will hold up.

We finally figured out how to attach some chicken wire in place of the screening that was there. The chicken wire will then hold rolled up pieces of paper that will be prayers for our SC missionaries serving all over the world. Like this...

A group of women in Kharkov, Ukraine, have been working through a Bible study called, "Experiencing God." Pray that they will truly experience God working in and through their lives. Ask God to raise up women from this group with a vision to take what they are learning and disciple others. . . . #pray #prayer #prayerrequest #missions #missionaries #Ukraine #Bible #biblestudy #women #womenofgod #discipleship

A post shared by National WMU (@nationalwmu) on Mar 15, 2017 at 4:00pm PDT

The first week of study was really good. Honestly learned a lot, and everyone kept up with their reading. Which is super impressive with the size group we have. I think the biggest point for me that I learned this week was knowing God is already at work, and we just have to pay attention to how he is at work and join in. It's not about asking permission for God to join in on our own ideas and desires, it's about joining God where he's at and what he's doing.

After lunch we had a personality class with Mark and Robin Woodhams. It follows the DISC personality types, and since I've done this before I wasn't surprised to find I'm an S. It will be interesting to continue learning about other personalities and one another over the next few weeks.

❤❤❤ #foreverfriends

A post shared by Heather Abolfathi (@habolfathi) on Mar 18, 2017 at 3:18pm PDT