I'm not going to address the elephant in the room. You know, the one where I haven't updated this thing in almost 2 months.

It's been a good few weeks, and as we roll into the Christmas season this is the first time I've had a moment to breathe. Seriously, the past two weeks have been nonstop, and I guess my body is catching up with me because I'm starting to feel ill.

Makes me kind of think I should have kept moving. But my introvert self says "NO. You relish in that alone time!"

Which then makes me think of Erin Napier's post yesterday, which speaks to me on so many levels it's ridiculous.

I'm a little bit shy. Maybe you already knew that from reading here, if you've been visiting for any amount of time. And maybe I wouldn't say it's shyness exactly, but talking to people I don't know very well takes every ounce of my energy. And I'm able to seem normal (I hope--It feels like I'm doing a good job at it at the time!) and carry on at a party, but inside I'm scrambling to think of the right thing to say. And when the conversation ends and I step away, I feel like I have an allowance of personality for each day and I've depleted some of my ration. By the end of a busy day at the Mercantile, I am all used up. I have used all my words. I am utterly spent. My dearest friends and family know this about me and never think twice about my virtual silence over dinner. They know it means I talked a lot that day. They ignore my crabbiness, my quietude, and choose to love me in spite of it. And at a crowded party when I feel anxious, I then feel my heart swell with happiness at finding them. My tribe. #framily

A photo posted by Erin Napier (@erinapier) on Dec 19, 2016 at 8:43pm PST

It's funny, even when I don't feel I have the energy to interact with people, even my close people, somehow God gives me the energy with them. When I think I'll be exhausted energy wise, it's like I become an extrovert for a second and my energy is spurred on by them.

I hope the friends, church family, real family in my life understand how important they are to me. That I don't have to be "on" for them or "try" with them, and how instead of me feeling depleted, they energize me!