The first few days after baby is born is the best whirlwind and being thrown to the wolves you'll ever experience. There is such joy that it lifts and carries you through all the rough patches--at least in my experience. Now coming down off that high is a little rough, but thankfully I think any postpartum depression I had was limited to about 2 days; literally just coming down off that high was a weird sensation to navigate through and enough to make me feel a little down for a few days.

So my first experience breastfeeding was about 30 minutes to an hour after Camber was born. She came out through a c-section, and so some of the fluid in her lungs had not been expelled as would normally be during a vaginal birth. So the hospital staff tended to her a little longer than I expected, not really giving us that immediate moment of skin to skin. But eventually they brought her to me, she was laid on my chest, and slowly we found that little girl was trying to wiggle and move her way to eat. It wasn't super easy to get started, since neither of us knew what we were doing, but alas the nurses assisted and Camber was able to start nursing! It was a seriously odd experience and sensation, something I didn't think I'd really enjoy--and it did take a little while to get there.

The next few days in the hospital she would latch relatively easily, but she never opened her mouth wide enough and we constantly fought the struggle of keeping her awake long enough to eat what she needed. And goodness, who knew babies needed to eat so much so frequently!! Waking at all hours of the night to feed her was ridiculously exhausting, but again we were on the high of having a baby for 2 weeks straight, so you don't feel too bothered by it in the moment. That's why you need that high for sure. Kept us sane and living off little to no sleep.

By the time we got home, I felt like we were getting this thing. She was feeding long enough, as long as we kept pestering her to stay awake, and wasn't having any issues latching. I felt some minor pain, but kept thinking it'd eventually pass as soon as we were able to master her latch.

Problem #1--Refusing to Latch

But then day 4 hit--my milk came in. The first few days postpartum you are giving baby colostrum, and slowly your body will know to produce milk. Milk is much more liquidy and not quite as nutrient rich as your colostrum--so you make a lot more of it, meaning your breasts will get full. Very full. Before I'd knew what happened, my boobs were rock solid hard (which I just figured was normal? I mean I've never had boobs that could produce milk so who knows right?). I tried to get Camber to latch, and she refused. She wouldn't, or couldn't suck any longer. 

At first it didn't seem like a big problem, but when she skipped not just one feeding, not just two feedings, but was going on the third feeding of not eating, I had a melt down. I couldn't feed my baby. I didn't know what I was doing wrong or how to fix it. Stephen had been out of the house for a few hours that day, and came home to a crying baby and a crying wife. Poor guy, but he handled the situation with such grace. He called around to as many places as he could to get hold of someone who could give us some answers.

We were told I needed to pump off some of the pressure. Which after that and a hot shower, I did start feeling better. But still no matter what I seemed to do, Camber was not having it.

Fixing the Latch

The biggest thing people are going to tell you about breastfeeding those first few days, is do not give her a bottle because that will cause nipple confusion. Okay. I can see how this can happen. I can see how babies may tend to favor one over the other, and giving the option too early can possibly mean baby will stop trying to nurse. But when your baby won't eat, you need to do what you need to do to get that baby fed. My fear of nipple confusion could have possibly outweighed what was reasonable and sensible for my baby to be alive and healthy. 

But thank goodness for professionals. My biggest suggestion when you begin to have breastfeeding problem is see a lactation consultant. Seriously. It might be a little scary, but the peace of mind and advice they can give you are priceless. You're tired mamma. You're not 100% in the best frame of mind right now. You're hormonal. Let someone take a little bit of the load and give you a road map to take you towards success. 

In the end, the lactation consultant provided me a plan. That's all. Things I probably could have researched and found on my own, but this person knew our specific problems and gave us steps to get where we wanted to be. 

Amazingly it worked. 

We were told to pump and bottle feed--excuse me what?! What about the nipple confusion?--and try to breastfeed recreationally. #1 That meant she got fed, which is really the biggest concern! #2 That meant breastfeeding was no pressure. She didn't have to feed because she was already full, but it also meant she wasn't upset when trying to breastfeed. Eventually over the next week she began feeding at the breast more and more. So we saw the lactation consultant one more time, and she recommended we go 1/2 and 1/2 and eventually transition to completely breastfeeding as we saw that she was steadily gaining weight.

And by about week 3, I believe we were 100% breastfeeding. 

Early on, before my milk regulated itself, my oversupply was a huge problem. Thankfully before Camber and I figured this breastfeeding thing out, I was pumping a lot. I would get 8 to 10 oz each pumping session, which meant I stashed away a lot of milk for when I returned to work. That was the "thank goodness" part.

Well that sounds all great, so what's the problem?

Problem was, my letdown was super heavy because of this! There were times I'd unlatch my nursing bra, and I would spray milk everywhere. Yeah I didn't believe that was possible, but it is. As Camber would drink, she was struggling to keep up and was practically drowning in my milk. Due to this, she gulped a lot more air than normal and we had a very gassy baby! A miserably gassy baby.

I figured oversupply and gassiness would always be a struggle for us, but...

About 11 weeks after little one was born, I returned to work. At first for just a few half days, to ease back into things (which I have come to realize half days would be the ideal working mommy situation),and then finally back full time. It has been tough being away from Camber--goodness she's too cute, and grows too quick! It has also been tough pumping so much.

Surprise, surprise... not nursing, but pumping instead, results in a lower supply!

Our bodies are just meant to be with that little babe and respond to all the goodness they got. So when they want more, they nurse more, and even if your milk isn't there your body now knows to make more!

At work, you're at the mercy of your schedule and what is reasonable to be away from your desk pumping. I have found I produce much less, or at least little one is less happy with a reasonable amount of milk, when I pump and she is bottle fed. I really do feel like a cow these days, just always pumping.

Fixing My Supply

Oversupply, as I mentioned before, can result in a heavy letdown and a gassy baby. The reason baby is so gassy is because they are taking in a lot of foremilk and air, compared to the hindmilk which is the fatty, rich stuff. Block feeding is a great way to help regulate your milk and try to get more of the hindmilk in their system. Essentially you are trying to empty out one boob before you move on to the next one so you can get past all the foremilk they get in the beginning of a nursing session. So that means that you may for a couple of feedings have her feed on the same breast in a row instead of switching. I found my right boob I'd have to feed at least twice on there before I could switch to the otherside. You know you always have that one boob that produces way more than the other--meet my Mrs. Rightside.

This really did help not only with her gassiness, but my milk began to regulate and even out to just about what Camber needed rather than too much. Which now, is a struggle to say it was a good thing, because I feel like I'm struggling to keep my supply up.

Undersupply is such a struggle because now you're wondering, "Can I keep this up? Am I capable of feeding my baby enough? Will I have to supplement?" When you've worked so hard for something, it is tough to realize that it may not be 100% working, and that you may need to consider another route. Pride kicks in.

Although, there are some things you can try and do to help increase your supply. Some things work great for some people, and don't for others. It is really a trial and error process, so don't get discouraged in the hunt.

I have found the following definitely help with me, but some work better than others so I just keep doing them all. Some days it means I see a huge increase, other days it seems to drop back down. I just keep stashing away and pray that it will continue to work:

1. Increase your water intake--Breastmilk is mainly water, so it is only logical.
2. Pump frequently--The more you remove milk, the more your body will be signaled to produce.
3. Empty your breasts--Don't just pump, but pump until empty and then some! I have pumped past the point of empty multiple times now; not only do I think it helps to signal your body for future production, but it has actually resulted in a second letdown multiple times now.
4. Massage your breasts and reposition your flanges--This will help push/release milk from other areas of your boobs. I always manage to get much more doing this, and I think it also helps with that second letdown.
5. Pump after nursing--I have found that on my work days, I need to pump after she nurses in the morning, right before I leave for work, as well as at night time after she has gone to bed (great time to power pump). I manage to get 2-8 more ounces between those two extra pumps in a given day, and of course removing that milk helps to stimulate production!
6. Supplements--I have found that drinking Mother's Milk Tea multiple times a day, as well as taking Fenugreek help boost my supply just enough to notice it, which totally makes it worth it to me! 
7. Gatorade--Not 100% sure if this one really is working, or again if it's a combination of a lot of things, but apparently blue Gatorade helps with lactation. It may just mean you're taking in more fluids and also adding some electrolytes.