I've not felt much up to writing lately. I've been nauseous for about 2 months straight, but I'm finally finding relief most days. Now I'm just dealing with feeling overly full, because my appetite is still pretty low in comparison to normal me.

But I'm human again. For that I am thankful.

I've noticed lately, that I feel like I've fallen in love with my husband all over again. He's stretched himself in ways for me the past two months I wouldn't have expected, and he does it with such a selfless heart. He's been my provider and comfort far more than he probably knows.


I know I'm stretching into the mushy gushy. Sorry. I need an outlet.


There are times where I've wondered how I got so lucky with him. I know he's not perfect for every woman out there, but he is beyond perfect for me. I look back at the little time I knew him, how certain I was he was who I was meant to be with, and know that God's hand was in all of it. Stephen far exceeds the expectations of a man I set for myself, and I know that is only a God thing.

Today a friend posted this article about finding "the one". While I know I definitely didn't search my heart probably the way that she did, nor did I dig deep into what the Word says a husband should be, I know that at that point in my life God was working through me in big ways. When I depended on Him, God provided a man that I didn't know was the definition of a husband I needed, but was the obvious choice when put in front of me.

Even when I first met Stephen, he was unlike anyone else I knew. He was funny, fun to be around, outgoing, friendly, non-judgemental, and immediately I knew his heart was one that loved the Lord. It shined through him, and the way that friends spoke about him. He was someone that friends treasured, and I knew in that he was someone I should treasure.

He was the unobtainable. For at least 6 months I remember thinking about him frequently, trying to catch his attention, and stalking his FB page. Hey. It's what we do now. For the next 2 years I kept up with him from afar, trying to interact with him when the opportunity presented itself. All the while I knew that this was a man who deserved a special woman, and I was not sure I fit that definition. Thankfully God began molding me into someone who was worthy of such a man over those two years. Something done outside of my desires for Stephen, but was done by God changing my heart individually.

So when I took a leap of faith two years later to contact Stephen, Stephen reached back quickly. Somehow he'd taken notice of me over those two years, and just like I knew he was someone to be treasured, I think God had placed that same feeling in his heart.

We weren't perfect people. In fact when Stephen made his intentions clear to me, I had to confess some pretty serious things to him about my past. Things I was not proud of. But I knew this was a man worthy to be treasured, and I could not treat him anything less than that. He needed to know who he was agreeing to be with, and praise the Lord God used that to affirm in his heart I was the one (when it easily could have gone the opposite way).


So in reading this article, I read the definition of who Stephen was then and now. The definition I didn't know word by word then. Thank goodness the Holy Spirit moves within in us to affirm these things, even when we don't know the "definition".

• Have a good reputation because he’s proven himself to be a man of character and worth by his actions. Stephen was spoken about highly by many people I knew.
• He will have a solid relationship with the Lord, which is of great importance for a woman of worth (3:11). Thus, you will be equally yoked in your relationship, with each person growing in their faith, serving the Lord, and evidencing the fruit of the Holy Spirit. Wait and observe how deep his Christianity goes. Does it show only when you are around, or is it full on all the time? Does he pray with you? Read the Bible with you? Attend church with you? Does he read the Bible, obey scripture, pray, and attend church on his own time? Is he respecting you according to God’s standards? Stephen's love for God and the church shined through in our conversations and what I saw him speak about and do on FB.

• Protect your purity, as well as his own, by respecting boundaries. He knows that sex is a sacred act to be enjoyed only in marriage, and he appreciates your high standards. He never placed pressure on me to compromise our purity before marriage.
• Guard your heart, by making known his intentions to pursue you when the time is right. You will know where he stands.  He won’t lead you on by just “hanging out” with you for an extended period of time, enjoying the benefits of your company without accepting appropriate responsibility toward you. Within a week of our first date, Stephen made his heart known by sharing he wanted to not only date me, but why and what he was willing to do to make that happen.

• Work hard.  He is a mature, responsible man with right priorities. Being a provider is not about making lots of money. It’s about a man meeting the basic needs of his wife and children. He’s disciplined in work and with money. Stephen was always smart with his money, and a hardworker long before me. When we decided to get married though, he very quickly was willing to move to Lexington to allow me to continue to pursue my education at USC. Searched high and low for a job that would allow us to take care of ourselves, and me work part-time.
• Properly understand a man’s Biblical role as the leader of the household. Under his leadership and banner of protection, you will feel safe and secure as his wife. This is because he has your best interests in mind, serves you sacrificially, and loves you as Christ loved the church. (If he doesn’t read the Bible and attend church regularly he won’t know how to be this man) I never had to doubt that Stephen would lead me spiritually and as a husband in our life together.

• Find you attractive!  It’s important to have the “spark.” This was there from the first day we met! 
• Cherish your inner beauty.  It is good for a man to marry a woman with the kind of loveliness that cannot fade.  He appreciates these qualities in you, and will encourage you verbally when he notices you acting with integrity, kindness, and love. Stephen saw beneath the surface of who I was, very quickly. Those were the qualities he latched on to, and why certain things never scared him away.
• Study you.  He will find out what makes you tick, and seek to understand you more fully over time.  He will notice what you enjoy, and do little things from time-to-time just to make you smile. Even now, Stephen knows exactly the buttons to push to make me laugh or the things to do to make me happy.

• Look for opportunities to bless others. I knew stories of Stephen giving his time and money sacrificially.
• Serve wholeheartedly He was dedicated to the church and serving in roles he didn't always feel called to, but knew were needed.
• Give generously, as God prompts him to do so. See above. :)
• Be kind and loving to the “littlest and least,” not looking down on others in self-righteousness. Stephen has always been a friend to everyone. EVERYONE.
• Utilize his spiritual gifts to edify the body of believers and honor God. He was a man of God long before he knew me. Nothing was for show, and he didn't deny his gifts to be used for the causes of Christ.

• Does not manipulate, cheat, or lie.  He has nothing to hide.
• He will not abuse you: call you names or put his hands on you ever!
• Does what is right, even when it’s hard.
• Respects the authorities in his life.
• Continually seeks the wise counsel of a more seasoned Christian man, such as a pastor or mentor, who will come alongside him, ask tough questions, hold him accountable, and encourage him in Christ-likeness. All the above! When Stephen's character has been called into question, God quickly has shined a light on the situation revealing his integrity and character as pure. Even when Stephen has been tempted to do otherwise, the Holy Spirit has convicted him into proper action. Stephen constantly sought the wisdom of his spiritual mentors during our time dating, and following!